It's not enough that your unfaithful mate has to come up with excuses for playing you.
Now science claims to have a plausible explanation and an excuse for men to stray all over and what's more? It's a gene thing. Meaning, lotharios can smile all the way to the discreetly booked hotel room while the missus wails at the kitchen sink.
Researchers at the Karolinksa Institute in Sweden have found out that the man in the jeans is not to blame- his genes are.
Evolutionary psychologists have, for years, claimed that men are inherently more promiscuous than women because of the need for survival of the human species.
The psychologists, just like the Swedish research claims that men are more promiscuous and less sexually reserved than women are besides the fact that they are naturally attracted to youth and beauty. Essentially, it professes that the 'infidelity gene' is as old as man and hasn't changed.
There is the explanation that male promiscuity has to do with need to sustain the human race. That successful men have excess testosterone ( the hormone produced chiefly by the testes; responsible for the development of male secondary sex characteristics) including their go-getting traits.
That being the case, it models some sort of evolutionary sense for men to have as many children as possible. Now that a woman can conceive once in every nine months, evolutionary psychologists believe the raging male hormones drive them to other women hence their promiscuity and penchant for polygamy and harems.
The Karolinska research that involved 2,186 adults confirms that there is a link between a genetic variant and a man's likelihood of becoming a 'player'.
And Caroline Mueni is quick to believe it.
"Surely, there must be some truth in the survey, we can't call it mere coincidence since it happens universally and often so casually," the 22 year-old student can already speak out of experience, I've been 'played' several times," she adds.
That explains her enthusiasm in subscribing to the research's findings. Indeed, every woman that has encountered the 'player' wishes to understand why.
Though Mueni is currently not in a relationship, she's optimistic that she'll get a keeper someday.
The researchers examined the gene allele 334 that seemed to have a negative association with men's relationship with their spouses.
And the gene probably explains the commitment phobia in some men since it determines the strength of a person's bond to their mate.
The US National Institute of Mental Health found that men who carried two copies of allele 334 were more than twice as likely to report serious marital or relationship problems, such as facing threat of divorce, than men who did not carry it.
Yet commitment phobia can be a double-edged sword. The guy can, on the one hand avoid obligations, ties, and commitments yet at the same time secretly yearn for the lives of those who are committed to their spouses.
In Men Who Can't Love, Steven Carter and his co-author Julia Sokol, explain why some men love the chase but not the kill.
"They may withdraw sexually and blame it on the woman for being demanding, or on work fatigue, or illness, or anything else that they can think of,"the authors say.
With claims that every woman will at least meet or date one of those men who seem to be allergic to the 'happily ever after' kind of relationships, the book is no bearer of good news.
So what's a girl supposed to do? Fight science?
The gene, which affects the production of a hormone called vasopressin (trade name Pitressin) is said to influence monogamy in humans just as it does in animals. And once again, the similarities between man and beast are a little more than would be desired.
Since men who carry the alleles were twice as likely to have a relationship crisis compared to those who didn't have the gene, marital bliss will have gone to the dogs.
In other words, they are, probably against their own wish, less able to bond with their partners, well, at least that's what Jenae Neiderhiser, a professor of Psychology in Pennsylvania State University believes.
Semene Concrete, a Liberian visiting Kenya, seems to think that the research is a fraud and would rather give his own 'logical' explanation.
"For us as Africans, we basically have to adapt to the circumstances," he says. The 'circumstances' Semene is referring to, are population statistics.
According to CIA statistics there's one man for everywoman in Kenya but many are still skeptical.
"Women are simply more than men,"he insists.
"So that's why you might find men having two or three girlfriends at the same time," he says in defense of his 'brothers'.
Perhaps that's why Mwangi Patrick would rather view the idea of being unfaithful as an act that men have to engage in "to balance the equation."
He too blames the numbers but occasionally also points at the nagging wife. "Nagging is a sure way to send your man out there looking," he says. "Men would rather entertain a lover than come home to find a noisy woman!"
For Nairobi banker Moses Kimotho, it's all about getting the attention. Consequently, he wouldn't bank on a relationship with a lady who will not give him the concern he craves.
"As a man I would need to be loved and taken care of and when you are found lacking in those areas then I would find a lady who gives me what I want."
Which then brings us to what men want? Perhaps a cook, cleaning lady, masseuse, lover and wife- all rolled into one?
If the research is anything to go by, the only redemption women have would be to invest in a genetic test kit before committing themselves into a relationship. And marriage.
So before you frantically pick up the phone to call Maina Kageni in the morning or Ciku Muiruri at dusk, maybe you ought to know his 'cheat potential.'
